Don’t Let Your Past Determine Your Future

With everything else going on in the world, I’m focused on simply getting my computer to work again.  Did I say again?  Yes I did.  My hard drive crashed and I had the Dell guy at the house trying to put humpty dumpty back together again!

Have you ever lost your data from not saving something?  Worse yet, have you had a problem and not backed up your data?  Either way you know that you are sc—-d when this happens!  Well yesterday was my day, but due to no fault of my own.  (A likely story)  I had a keyboard replaced and was told my hard drive wasn’t good.

So…. They replaced the keyboard and the hard drive.  Now I’m starting from scratch again.  When they replace your hard drive everything you ever had is gone.  You start with a clean slate.  In the computer world that’s a disaster especially when you haven’t backed up your data.  In the spirit realm that’s a delight.

As a coach or even as a leader, sometimes starting over is the new beginning that we all need.  As a leader we make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes can be very costly.  Don’t you sometimes wish that you could go back and have a “mulligan” (A free stroke in golf).

God desires to give each and every one of us that fresh start.  He says to let go of the past, embrace the present, and look forward to the future.  We can’t allow our past to determine our future.  Let go… and move on!!!  We all make mistakes.  Just don’t make the same ones over again.

The computer being like life, I’m not thrilled about all of the work that is still ahead of me.  Although I am thankful that I’m able to start over (my computer was running slow).  I get to “reload” all of the software afresh.  Why don’t you allow God’s grace and mercy to enable you to “reload” and start over.  You’ll be glad you did!

Remember, your future is not going to be determined by your past!!!

JPF

Online and Offline Communities

I love technology.  I’m a techie in a boomer’s body.  I love computers.  I love electronic gadgets. I love social networking and business networking. I love new developments in software.  Anything to make life easier.  Or should I say more complex.  It depends upon your vantage point.

 I read an article that challenged me and I’m still digesting it.  Are online communities able to replace real community where we interact offline face to face?  As much as I love the networking with friends from high school and college, I think that we need to realize that the world isn’t a virtual world, but a real world with real people.

 My concern surrounds the fact that we are developing “Christian chat rooms” that are no better than our churches.  We fellowship with each other in the faith, but it isn’t a place that’s safe or inviting for the unchurched.  Aren’t we developing Christian ghettos online like the ghettos that we have offline in our churches?  Aren’t we once again separating ourselves from those that need our message the most?

Can we really become close knit friends in 6 months by interacting with someone online daily.  I’m afraid that we “think” that we know someone well because we communicate with them online on a regular basis.  Is this the same as becoming friends or dating others in person?  I’m not sure that it is.  I’m not sure that people know us as well as they think they know us.  It’s easy enough to deceive someone face to face, how much easier is it to mislead someone online?

 As I said from the outset, I love technology.  I just don’t think that technology is a replacement for old fashion face to face communication and real friendship.  My recommendation is simply this; don’t give up your online social networking, but make sure that you add to it the old fashion way of developing relationships and that’s face to face. 

 Online or offline, that is the question.  Truly, it’s not either or, but both and…

 Thoughts anyone?

 JPF

Sticking Closer Than a Brother

Have you ever thought about how special friends are so important to us in our lives? What is it about some people that you just don’t like them? And others you have an immediate connection?

I have a few friends that no matter how busy we get, once we reconnect whether in person, via phone or email, it’s as though our relationship hasn’t missed a beat. It could be 6 months, or even a year, but it seems like yesterday that we were hanging out and having fun together. This is the kind of relationship that we can have with Jesus. As a leader prayer should be our first priority, but if we were all honest, sometimes the urgent gets more attention than the important. And prayer is important!

The greatest “sin” a leader can commit is the lack of a significant prayer life. Prayerlessness says to God, “I can do this on my own without you”! Although I understand none of us would admit to that motivation, actions speak louder than words. The best part of having a personal relationship with Jesus is that no matter how side tracked we get, he’s always there waiting and desiring to have intimate communion with us. Sometimes I’m amazed at his patience with us. He’s always there waiting on us, as though not a day has gone by.

I’m not sure how many earthly friends you have like this, but who can believe that the God of creation is patiently waiting to spend time with us. That is a mind blower for me! No matter how busy life gets, I want to implore you to take time to meet with God daily.

Leaders have an immense need for wisdom, discernment, insight, patience, and the favor of God in their lives. As the old saying goes: “If you are too busy to pray, you’re too busy”. Remember only Jesus will never leave you or forsake you. Truly he is a friend that sticks closer to you than a brother.

Your thoughts…

JPF

New Fangled Thangs

Today is my last posting for the week.  I’ll be taking the weekend off and return on Monday.  Even I’m not disciplined enough to do this seven days a week.

 The new fangled thang that I’m referring to is the use of electronic means to receive offerings these days.  I confess that we at Christian Life Center have just created a brochure and accompanying form to automate the giving of many of our constituents.

Whether it’s giving by check,  an automated debit from the checking account, credit card, debit card, bank bill payment, or even cash, our world has become complex in many ways.

 Someone would say, isn’t the church just acquiescing to the world system?  And I would say yes and no.  We are using the systems of the world, but we are not compromising our integrity or the Word of God.  We can be in the world (use their technology), but not of the world (compromise God’s Word).

Why would we do it?  What advantages does it provide for us?  I’m glad you asked that question.

 First, it provides an opportunity for people to be systematic in their giving.  It’s easier to know that it’s being taken care of and you don’t have to think about it every week.

Second, it’s a help to the church in the fact that there is a more consistent flow of income that makes budgeting easier and the cash flow smoother.  It becomes possible to plan for ministry and outreach opportunities without worrying about whether or not the money is going to be covered through offerings.

 Third, and definitely the least important is that it provides a convenient way to facilitate ministry by making it easy for people to give to their church or non-profit organization.

And lastly, believe it or not, it’s a safer way to give as security is at a premium to protect the consumer from identity theft using these alternative methods.  So there, now you have it.

Have I jumped over to the side of the Antichrist?  Or am I simply on the cutting edge of technology in the church?  What do you think?

 JPF

Waiting Leads to Personal Renewal

It’s amazing some of the principles that the bible teaches regarding the Christian Life.  Some of them are easier to embrace and understand than others.  Waiting to enter into rest is one of those that I don’t really get, Isaiah 40:31 says:

“But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength”

It’s an oxymoron as far as I’m concerned.  How can waiting or resting really help you get renewed to take on the world?  Isn’t it interesting how much God uses the foolish things to confound the wise?

I would think that if you strength “suck it up” and keep going strong.  Only the weak stop and rest.  Yet God says that if we will wait upon Him, we’ll have renewed strength.  Do nothing and get stronger, yeah, right!

Well, I felt that little still voice in my spirit encourage me to take my morning hours to “wait upon Him”.  Now for me, I’ve got way too much to do to give the entire morning to basically spending time alone with God and doing some of my personal writings.  This would include this blog!

I think that sometimes to move forward, you need to take a step back.  That’s what I’m doing now.  No more breakfasts or early morning meetings Monday – Friday.  Why?  Because I feel as though God wants me to use the time to “wait and rest” with Him.

Stay tuned.  I’ll let you know regularly how I’m doing with this new project.  I’ll let you know whether this “waiting” really does really lead to personal renewal.  All I know is that it can’t hurt to take time with God and for the things that He has put in my heart to do with Him.

What’s your thought?  Have I lost my mind or what?

JPF

Transfomation Life Center

I just had the privilege of being on a conference call with the leadership team from Transformation Life Center.  They are entrusting three of their young men into our care as a part of their Aftercare Program.  We are honored and humbled to be entrusted with the lives of these men.

I don’t know about you, but drugs and alcohol were a very significant part of my life before I received Christ.  Until I accepted Christ personally my life was a yo-yo effect going from being clean to stumbling into these life controlling and life threatening substances.

It’s so good to know that Christ truly does make a difference, yet it’s very tough, if not impossible to do it alone.  That’s why the Bible gives us a picture of the church as a “body”, where each part needs the other parts in order to be complete.

Each of us has a part to play in the lives of our brothers and sisters, as they too have a part to play in our lives.  We truly need one another more than we’re willing to admit at times.

Are you fulfilling the calling to fill the void in the “body” or are you lacking the commitment to function according to what you know is right and true?

Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing today, whether you’re in full-time ministry or you’re a bi-vocational minister, remember this: to obey is more important than sacrifice!  Will you obey regardless of what you or others think?

Thank God for men and women that will help those struggling in the throes of addiction.  Thank God for Transformation Life Center!

JPF

Hurting People Hurt Other People

I was with a friend the other day and we talked about his former church and their leadership. He communicated that the leader was a cult leader and the church a cult. He then couched his language by saying “my wife doesn’t like the term cult. She prefers the phrase “abusive” leader and church.

Wow! How about that. From the frying pan into the fire. I’m not sure which is worse. The amazing thing is that many of our pastors and churches in the US are called by both these names. I too, have been accused of being a cult leader and leading a cult.

What is the difference between a cult leader and an abusive leader?

A cult leader is one who is leading the flock astray, away from the orthodox understanding of Christianity. Leading them into doctrine that seduces people to do or be what the leader wants them to do or be, as opposed to what the scriptures have to say.

An abusive leader is one who has much woundedness and baggage that keeps them from leading a functional church. In fact, the leaders’ dysfunction will most often begin to be a part of the DNA of the church itself. They are usually hurting people and they end up hurting other people. In the end, one is abusing people and the other is “abusing” the scriptures.

In any case, neither one is good. May God help those of us in the pastoral trenches to not pass on our own stuff to others. Better yet, may we recognize and seek healing that we might be whole, body, SOUL, and spirit. My prayer is that I may be a leader that leads people in a healthy way to be all that they can be for Christ.

Any thoughts?

JPF

Human Doings or Human Beings

One of the leadership lessons I’ve learned the hard way is that although I’m a Type A; High I; High D; ESTJ; Lion, etc., which causes me to be very task oriented, people matter more than tasks.

I have a Ph.D. in Organizational Development which means that I am very linear and value an organization’s efficient and effective structure.  As a result, in my earlier years of leadership I was very task oriented.  The task no matter what it was had to be accomplished regardless of obstacles.  In fact, all obstacles were to be unceremoniously removed, even if it were people.  I’m embarassed to say this, but it is true.  The job must get done.  The show must go on, even at the expense of other people.

Now this was never an intentional effort on my part to hurt or discourage people who were unable to “keep pace”, but none the less, I regret terribly hurting other people in the name of the Lord along the way.

Here’s another one of the mantra’s I’ve adopted: “who you are is more important than what you do”!  You are created to be a human being not a human doing!

God cares for people more than anything else in the world.  I’ve learned that I need to care for those I work with and in turn they will “do the work of the ministry” for God’s Kingdom.

Even in my coaching sessions I’ve adopted a philosophy that deals first with the person and then with the task.  The cliché that one hears so flippantly yet it is so profound is simply this: “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care”.

I now love people first and accomplish Kingdom work second, after people are loved and cared for.  It’s not either or, but both and!

Always remember this: God made people to be human beings, not human doings!

Can anyone else relate to this challenge?

JPF

As A Leader Do You Always Need To Be Right ?

“Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open.  You’re able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.”                                                                                            Ralph Marston

Remember the old cliché in regard to your spouse?  “Do you want to be right or happy”?  It’s a joke of course, but there is truth in the statement for sure!

How about this statement for those of us in leadership?  Are you secure enough in your leadership to be wrong?  Or do you always need to be right in order to save face among those you lead?

I learned a lesson a long time ago and I’m still in the process of learning.  The need to be right can be one of our worst enemies.  And the root of that need often times is a result of our lack of security in ourselves.  We’re afraid that people will think that we’re less than a top flight leader if we show weakness through a lack of knowledge, experience, or skill and happen to make a wrong decision.

Today in this day and age values like humility, transparency, and vulnerability are seen as a statement of strength and security to those who are being led by you.  But it must be sincere, not simply an attempt to manipulate someone into doing what you want them to do for you.

 You see, the other value that is important today, especially to young leaders is authenticity.  If you are not authentic these behaviors become counterproductive due to the insincerity that is recognized in you.

 I’m learning to embrace each of these as lifelong character qualities that not only make you successful, but make you a significant figure in the lives of those you lead.

Which is more important to you, the person or the objective?  I would say if you take care of loving and caring for the individual, they will take care of the objective you have assigned for them.  I’m afraid that it often doesn’t work the other way around.  People aren’t stupid, they know whether you are authentic or not.

Ask yourself today am I willing to possibly forgo some degree of success short term to be a significant influence in the lives of those you lead and see long term success?

The choice is up to you!

JPF

About My Mantra

A couple of people have commented on my mantra which is this: “That which I am a part of is more important than which part I play”.

Let me share with you a couple of leadership thoughts about how I arrived at this life defining statement.

Bob Buford in his first book entitled Half-Time discussed the fact that men in particular tend to be geared toward success in their given field of expertise.  We guys tend to dive in and find great fulfillment in our occupation or our vocation.  We are hunters.  We are gatherers.  We are warriors.

Buford suggests that men spend the first half of their lives seeking SUCCESS, but tend to spend the second half searching for a sense of SIGNIFICANCE.

I too felt that it was incumbent upon me to become successful in whatever field of endeavor that I would pursue.  I worked very hard (my son thought I worked too hard, and too long) to become the best that I could be in my chosen field. 

Sometimes some of us will even violate our own value system in order to become someone considered successful.  I’m thankful that although I have always been a hard worker I have never substituted the value of success for the even more important value of family.

In attempting to be successful we can tend to compare ourselves to others.  If we’re doing better than them, we feel good about ourselves.  If they are doing better than us, then we may feel insignificant and insecure.  That’s why I always encourage those I coach to become the best “you” that you can become.  Comparisons lead to pride or insecurity.  Neither is becoming of healthy, mature, secure, and truly successful human beings.  

Success has its limitations.  Whatever you accomplish here on earth stays here on earth.  Only that which we do for others, in other words, only that which we give away is going to last.  True success is leaving a legacy behind of others who have “stood on your shoulders” and have become all that they could be.

What is your desire?  Are you driven for success and the desire to be called successful by others?  Or are you someone who doesn’t care which part you play, as long as you’re in the game?  Even if that means that no one knows your name?  I chose the latter a long time ago.  How about you?  And by the way, you can be both!  Just don’t violate your eternal values!

Are you successful or are you significant?  Or are you able to claim both terms for yourself?  I’d love to hear from you. 

JPF